Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.

The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.

We could overcome the baser aspects of our nature... and give this planet the kind of caretakers it deserves.

Even if the flag burning amendment does become law, the larger problem will remain of how to respectfully dispose of older, tattered flags. Well, fortunately the U.S. official Flag Code has a suggestion about this. "The flag, when it is in such a condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem of display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning." Owwwwcchh. In response, the House Republicans are calling for tattered flags to be kept alive via a feeding tube.

I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.

Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!

Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.