Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.

To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!

I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

I never thought I'd say this, but I miss voter fraud.

The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is ... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never.

I have become increasingly unnerved by the depth of corruption that exists at many different levels. I'm less upset with politicians than [with] the media.

I feel like [God]'s hazing us.