Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office.

Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.

Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It's using the energy.

Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.

By working to get away from your circumstance you can make something better of yourself, but there’s no guarantee... But you know what? The joy of it is chasing that dream.

What's with the poverty Tourette's? Why do these two think we need a hobo for president?

Trent Lott has regained a position of leadership. He was the former majority leader who lost his post for racially insensitive commentary. I believe he mentioned that Strom Thurmond in 1948, who ran as a segregationist candidate, should have won. ... But now, sound the irony alarm. He has recaptured a position and his position -- I kid you not -- in the Senate will be minority whip. So, my guess is he takes to that job like, let's say, white on rice.