[When you have kids] you become much more - there are two things that happen. You recognize how fragile individuals are, and you recognize the strength of the general overall group, but you don't care anymore. You're just fighting for the one thing. See and then, you also recognize that everybody, then, is also somebody's child.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.

In whose delusional mind is democracy made 'better' by allowing wealthy people to control more of it?

As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.

The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.

All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months." You should be coming home to your family.