I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.

The real focus at first is to just become a good stand-up comedian, and then when you get to a certain level, then they allow you to do other things. You feel if you're overwhelmed by something or if you're not.

All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months." You should be coming home to your family.

The building housing America's military brass is a five-sided pentagon, but somehow, the people in it still manage to make it the squarest place on earth. The latest evidence? A current military document that lists homosexuality as a mental disorder in the same league as mental retardation - noting, of course, the one difference: retarded people can still get into heaven.

Spain's new Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero announced he will soon call back Spain's 1300 troops from Iraq - meaning the coalition of the willing is fast turning into a duet of the stubborn.

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.