Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around the ring naked? If that footage comes out, I'll run that.

This morning, prompted by increasing concerns about terrorism, oil prices reached a record high as the cost of a barrel of crude is a whopping $44.34. Wow, it seems shocking that a product of finite supply gets more expensive the more we use it. Now the terror alert means higher oil prices, which oddly enough means higher profits for oil companies giving them more money to give to politicians whose policies may favor the oil companies such as raising the terror alert level. As Simba once told us: "It's the circle of life."

The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'

The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

We're Jews. When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there.

I never thought I'd say this, but I miss voter fraud.