I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'll tell you this: Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have, for religion -we protect religion- and talk about a lifestyle choice! That is absolutely a choice. Gay people don't choose to be gay. At what age did you choose not to be gay?

The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.

That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.