The election moment is merely the American public saying, "We'd rather you be President than that guy." That's it.

Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?

Democrats do have a historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty.

The White House released documents it claims validates the president's (National Guard) service ... When deciphered the documents showed that in a one-year period, 1972 and 1973, Bush received credit for nine days of active National Guard service. The traditional term of service then and now for the National Guard is one weekend a month and two full weeks a year, meaning that Bush's nine-day stint qualifies him only for the National Guard's National Guard. That's the National Guard's National Guard, an Army of None.

I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.

It's harder to eat meat when you know the animal's name...I have found.

McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.