The election moment is merely the American public saying, "We'd rather you be President than that guy." That's it.

Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!

Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office.

Bush proposed a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Some saw the move as an attempt to preserve traditional values, while others saw it as a cynical ploy to ensure that Vice President... Cheney will never have to pay for his gay daughter's wedding.

Everything in Italian sounds like 'Give me your money or I'm going to beat your @$$'.

You know, I've always wanted to be a young Charles Kuralt. I started in this business with just a Winnebago and a dream.

I think people are used to people in show business having a lot of hubris. I think I have a normal amount of self-loathing but because I'm in show business it's considered self-deprecation. In normal life I would just be considered your average neurotic.