If the world does need to repopulate at some point, the announcing team of Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara, I think, would make very pleasant children.

In whose delusional mind is democracy made 'better' by allowing wealthy people to control more of it?

It's funny. When we were alive we spent much of our time staring up at the cosmos and wondering what was out there. We were obsessed with the moon and whether we could one day visit it. The day we finally walked on it was celebrated worldwide as perhaps man's greatest achievement. But it was while we were there, gathering rocks from the moon's desolate landscape, that we looked up and caught a glimpse of just how incredible our own planet was. Its singular astonishing beauty. We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is.

The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.

[CNN, USA Today] they've got 24 hours to fill. You know, how many times can Anna Nicole Smith's baby get a new father?

Models talk to you for six minutes and they're very nice and they say thank you and then it's off to the larger European men they actually have sex with.