Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.

We grew up in the good old days before kids had these damn computers and actually played outside.

The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'

If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?

Typically, when you're with your friends, premises are coming up left and right. But when you're on stage, you must create the premise. So you have to create the premise, paint the picture and then deliver the punch line.

You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.

Oh my god... Kerry is boring even when Bush is reading him.