Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.

[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.

I think people are used to people in show business having a lot of hubris. I think I have a normal amount of self-loathing but because I'm in show business it's considered self-deprecation. In normal life I would just be considered your average neurotic.

The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.

If you are a minority or an interest group, the Democrats will hold the debate at your house. Whereas Republicans take a slightly different approach: they have a big tent - you're just not allowed in it.

Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.

Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.