There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship.

When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.

The press has bravely and nobly eroded the public trust... What I'm advocating is the media come work for us again. Remove themselves from the symbiotic relationship that they have developed with the power structure of corporations and of the politicians.

Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration.

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about.

Everyone just needs to get over themselves.

America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless... but now the security of the world is threatened by Kim Jong-il, a nerdy, pompadoured, platform shoe-wearer who looks like something you'd put on the end of your child's pencil.