We're Jews. When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there.
Jon StewartEveryone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration.
Jon StewartAs we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
Jon StewartHow far back to the elementary school core curriculum do we have to go to get someone on the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology caught up?
Jon Stewart