We all know what happens to celebrities when their time is up - rehab and then a stint on VH1.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Gay people can't be proud of the country and want to defend it too. What's the army afraid is going to happen if gay people are in it. Private, shoot that man! I can't, he's adorable.

I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.

The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.

They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.

I watch a lot of astronaut movies....Mostly Star Wars. And even Han and Chewie use a checklist.