We all know what happens to celebrities when their time is up - rehab and then a stint on VH1.

As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.

If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today. Provided I'd started with a hundred million dollars.

When you're accustomed to doing stand-up, so often you're the only person onstage and it's all your thing. It's very gladiatorial. Obviously, when you're in a scene with somebody, you're supposed to listen and react - and that's a bit of a transition.

The rise of secularism has brought about an increase in hostility toward things religious.

It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.

We have standards. Anybody with the kind of journalism experience and professionalism that you have displayed over these years can not work for my program.