As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.

Stephen Colbert is also then turned into news.

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is.

You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror."

Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.

It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.

Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.