Arnold Schwarzenegger campaigned in New York this week, where he stepped up his controversial goal of helping children.... It's all summed up in his campaign slogan, 'Arnold Schwarzenegger: Cutting violence in half with a laser-guided chain gun across a charred landscape - for the children.'
Jon StewartWhy would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
Jon StewartAlthough to be fair, cherry picking isn't quite what we do. Cherries are sweet and delicious. What we do is more turd mining. And I'll thank you to give our work the respect it deserves!
Jon StewartYou can have all the muskets you want! You can even have assault muskets!...Their (the NRA's) paranoid fear of a possible dystopic future prevents us from addressing our actual dystopic present. We can't even begin to address 30,000 gun deaths that are actually, in reality, happening in this country every year because a few of us must remain vigilant against the rise of an imaginary Hitler.
Jon Stewart