People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.

I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.

I think, with the administration they do Constitutionally-mandated things most of the time, but they don't - they fulfill the letter of their obligation to checks and balances, but not the intent.

We are going to be raising a generation of mentally impaired people.

Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, "Hey, I'll take the frozen part."