If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?
Jon StewartOur show is obviously at a disadvantage with any of the other news shows we're competing against. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility, we are ... well, oddly enough we're about even.
Jon StewartYou can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.
Jon StewartBush advisers have long been worried that a lagging economy could hamper the president's re-election chances. They hope that the Cabinet shake-up will provide a needed jolt. If that doesn't work, North Korea has to go.
Jon Stewart