I don't think marijuana should be illegal.

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn’t want to go. Germany. The Michael Jordan of war took a pass.

Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why. Boy, will you creep him out. I can just tell you from last year, uh, even if they do like chocolate, they don't want it from their son.

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?

I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.