I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
Jon StewartNew York City isn't Chuck E. Cheese. We don't have ball pits for the kids to play in. We have titty bars and crack.
Jon StewartPeople would like to place a standard on our show that doesn't exist. We're not set up for reporting; we don't have an apparatus for that. We're discussing things that hopefully people might get something out of, but it's wildly inconsistent. Just because we hit on points that resonate, or people think are real complaints - that doesn't make us journalists.
Jon StewartIf the world does need to repopulate at some point, the announcing team of Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara, I think, would make very pleasant children.
Jon StewartYou think that sense of humor goes as far as our ideology. I think that ultimately, we have we have very interesting reactions on our show. People are constantly saying, "I love your-your show is so funny, until you made a joke about global warming, which is a serious issue, and I can't believe you did that. And I am never watching your show again."
Jon Stewart