If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people.

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about.

On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.

If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are not competent. If I can be competent, and have moments of originality, that's all I would ask for.

Wait a minute, words in the prompter, script on my desk, vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns... the writers are back!

If someone was to introduce hope and idealism into our political system, I think the tension that would create in other areas would certainly be ripe. You would think that if you bring oxygen to the organism, the organism lives. But there may be other organisms in there that thrive in darkness and in a more anaerobic environment. Watching those creatures writhe will always be interesting.