What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?

If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably a horrible analogy - but I look at politicians as they are doing what inherently they need to do to retain power. Their job is to consolidate power. When you go to the zoo and you see a monkey throwing poop, you go, 'That's what monkeys do, what are you gonna do?' But what I wish the media would do more frequently is say, 'Bad monkey.'

When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.

Here's what I realized about the yam - it's the same colour as a Nerf ball. You may be wondering: 'Is he saying he ate a Nerf ball?'.

We all know what happens to celebrities when their time is up - rehab and then a stint on VH1.

By working to get away from your circumstance you can make something better of yourself, but there’s no guarantee... But you know what? The joy of it is chasing that dream.

College is something you complete. Life is something you experience.