When the court that handpicked you to be president tells you you've overstepped your bounds, you've overstepped your bounds.

Honestly, folks, I think my brain is broken.

Most Americans don't live their lives solely as Democrats or Republicans or conservatives or liberals. Most Americans live their lives that are just a little bit late for something they have to do. Often it's something they do not want to do, but they do it. Impossible things get done every day that are only made possible by the little, reasonable compromises.

When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.

My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower.