Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.

If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?

The Book of Mormon is so good it makes me f**king angry.

Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make the world safe enough that nineteen people wouldn't want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based.

I would think black people think everything is about race. They are the ones who are on the outside of the game. They are the ones who face it every day.

If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.

That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.