Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.

Stephen Colbert is also then turned into news.

I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.

Al-Qaeda's resurgence brings out the worst in the Bush Administration's math and logic.

I don't think, if anything, I don't think it's a feeling of hopelessness that people feel. I think if they feel - if they're feeling what we're feeling, it's that this is how we fight back.

You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror."

Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.