If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
Jon StewartThey may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.
Jon StewartWhat I like to do is come in, write the entire program and treat my staff to hot stone massages.
Jon StewartI've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.
Jon Stewart