Wait a minute, words in the prompter, script on my desk, vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns... the writers are back!

Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.

The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.

You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.

When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.

It's the same argument people say about the blogs. The blogs are responsible. No, they're not. The blogs are like anything else. You judge each one based on its own veracity and intelligence and all of that.

When in doubt, I can stare blankly. The rubber face. There's only so many ways you can stare incredulously at the camera and tilt an eyebrow, but that's your old standby: What would Buster Keaton do?