How do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? The honest answer is this: You won't. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience.

I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.

I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.

We're going to do a challenge. I'm going to try and download every movie ever made and you are going to try to sign up for Obamacare - and we'll see which happens first.

Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN.

I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, "Hey, I'll take the frozen part."