It's nice to know that [God] can destroy us in a myriad of ways.

Models talk to you for six minutes and they're very nice and they say thank you and then it's off to the larger European men they actually have sex with.

Honestly, folks, I think my brain is broken.

Yon Kippur. Greatest Jewish holiday ever. The Jewish day of attonement. You don't ear for one day, all your sins for the year are wiped clean. Beat that with your little Lent. What is Lent? Forty days of absolution. Forty days to one day. Even in sin you're paying retail.

Jazz musicians are the coolest people on the planet. Can I have some cool?

By working to get away from your circumstance you can make something better of yourself, but there’s no guarantee... But you know what? The joy of it is chasing that dream.

The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.