I feel your scorn, and I accept it.

Technology. It's like science, only useless.

I'm a little bit too obsessed with the news. I find the news easier to follow than narrative entertainment programs.

You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.

With the situation in Iraq growing ever more dangerous, the 34-member Coalition of The Willing are, one by one, dropping out to join the other coalition known as Most of The Rest of The World.

My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower.

Stephen Colbert is also then turned into news.