I feel your scorn, and I accept it.

But our perfect democracy, which neither needs nor particularly wants voters, is a rarity. It is important to remember there still exist many other forms of government in the world today, and that dozens of foreign governments still long for a democracy such as ours to be imposed on them.

Technology. It's like science, only useless.

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'

Evil is relatively rare. Ignorance is epidemic.

It's like America has a dog that's always shitting inside the house, and we solved the problem by getting a brown rug.

Thus, I've created humour.