In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man uncapable of holding any public station; for, since kings avow themselves to be the deputies of Providence.
Jonathan SwiftI cannot imagine why we should be at the expense to furnish wit for succeeding ages, when the former have made no sort of provision for ours.
Jonathan SwiftThe two maxims of any great man at court are, always to keep his countenance, and never to keep his word.
Jonathan SwiftAnd surely one of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid.
Jonathan SwiftThat the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms, I will no more believe than that the accidental jumbling of the alphabet would fall into a most ingenious treatise of philosophy.
Jonathan SwiftIt is likewise to be observed that this society hath a peculiar chant and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to multiply.
Jonathan SwiftBrisk talkers are usually slow thinkers. There is, indeed, no wild beast more to be dreaded than a communicative man having nothing to communicate. If you are civil to the voluble they will abuse your patience; if brusque, your character.
Jonathan SwiftIt is remarkable with what Christian fortitude and resignation we can bear the suffering of other folks.
Jonathan SwiftNo man will take counsel, but every man will take money. Therefore, money is better than counsel.
Jonathan SwiftIt is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end.
Jonathan SwiftUndoubtedly, philosophers are in the right when they tell us that nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison.
Jonathan SwiftFor, if we take an examination of what is generally understood by happiness, as it has respect either to the understanding or the senses, we shall find all its properties and adjuncts will herd under this short definition: that it is a perpetual possession of being well deceived.
Jonathan SwiftThe power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable, for the happy impute all their success to prudence or merit.
Jonathan SwiftI love white Portugal wine better than claret, champagne, or burgundy. I have a sad vulgar appetite.
Jonathan SwiftThere is no quality so contrary to any nature which one cannot affect, and put on upon occasion, in order to serve an interest.
Jonathan SwiftIf they would, for Example, praise the Beauty of a Woman, or any other Animal, they describe it by Rhombs, Circles, Parallelograms, Ellipses, and other geometrical terms.
Jonathan SwiftLove of flattery, in most men, proceeds from the mean opinion they have of themselves; in women, from the contrary.
Jonathan SwiftWho can deny that all men are violent lovers of the truth, when we see them so positive in their errors, which they will maintain out of their zeal for truth, although they contradict themselves every day of their lives.
Jonathan SwiftThough Diogenes lived in a tub, there might be, for aught I know, as much pride under his rags, as in the fine-spun garments of the divine Plato.
Jonathan SwiftWhen you set about your composing, it may be necessary for your ease, and better distillation of wit, to put on your worst clothes, and the worse the better; for an author, like a limbeck, will yield the better for having a rag about him: besides that, I have observed a gardener cut the outward rind of a tree (which is the surtout of it) to make it bear well; and this is a natural account of the usual poverty of poets, and is an argument why wits, of all men living, ought to be ill clad.
Jonathan SwiftBlot out, correct, insert, refine, enlarge, diminish, interline. Be mindful, when invention fails. To scratch your head and bite your nails.
Jonathan SwiftIt is a maxim, that those, to whom everybody allows the second place, have an undoubted title to the first.
Jonathan SwiftWhen we are old, our friends find it difficult to please us, and are less concerned whether we be pleased or not.
Jonathan SwiftI have known some men possessed of good qualities which were very serviceable to others, but useless to themselves; like a sun-dial on the front of a house, to inform the neighbours and passengers, but not the owner within.
Jonathan SwiftOld men and comets have been reverenced for the same reason: their long beards, and pretences to foretell events.
Jonathan SwiftThe latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier.
Jonathan SwiftThe system of morality to be gathered from the ancient sages falls very short of that delivered in the gospel.
Jonathan Swift'T is an old maxim in the schools, That flattery 's the food of fools; Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.
Jonathan SwiftThe best Maxim I know in this life is, to drink your Coffee when you can, and when you cannot, to be easy without it. While you continue to be splenetic, count upon it I will always preach. Thus much I sympathize with you that I am not cheerful enough to write, for I believe Coffee once a week is necessary to that.
Jonathan SwiftGood manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the room.
Jonathan Swift