When you're obsessive, like me, searching for something unattainable can become unhealthy ... it's like falling through the air and grabbing at the clouds.

Playing the game, representing the team, giving my all and never letting go has meant everything to me.

The problem with me is I always think I should've done better. I felt that after the World Cup final and through my whole career.

My own position is so far on the obsessive side of preparation and professionalism that I fear my point of view is not going to be shared by anyone.

What I am proud of is I have searched for the best of me and I have been a team man without fail.

I would like to wish the England squad every success. I would also very much like to extend those wishes to Martin Johnson, Brian Smith, Mike Ford, John Wells, Graham Rowntree and the rest of the England 2011 World Cup management team who have been fantastic and deserve people to know that.

We need to ask ourselves what are we here for and what have we worked so hard to be here for.