Everybody in this world wants watching, but nobody more than ourselves.

Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.

The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.

It's not what we don't know that prevents us from succeeding; it's what we know that just ain't so that is our greatest obstacle.

I never had a man come to me for advice yet, but what I soon discovered that he thought more of his own opinion than he did of mine.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

Fun is a sugar-coated physic.