I've never known an auctioneer to lie unless it was absolutely necessary.

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

As in a game ov cards, so in the game ov life, we must play what is dealt tew us, and the glory consists, not so mutch in winning, as in playing a poor hand well.

Music wasn't made to make us wise, but better natured.

Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.