I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

Men who have much to say use the fewest words.

The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.

If you believe you can do something, then you can acquire the ability to do it even if you didn't have it in the beginning.

When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as though you were going to be shaved, hold on to your false hair with both hands and then laugh till your soul gets thoroughly rested.

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.