There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up.

Some folks as they grow older grow wise but most folks simply grow stubborner.

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

A learned fool is one who has read everything and simply remembered it.

Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.