Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.

People who have nothing to say are never at a loss in talking.

Pedigrees seldom improve by age; the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent.

Society is composed of slow Christians and wide-awake sinners.

Self-made men are most always apt to be a little too proud of the job.

Zoroaster said, when in doubt abstain; but this does not always apply. At cards, when in doubt take the trick.