Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

As the flint contains the spark, unknown to itself, which the steel alone can awaken to life, so adversity often reveals to us hidden gems, which prosperity or negligence would forever have hidden.

If men were stubborn just in proportion as they were right, stubbornness would take her seat among the virtues; but men are generally stubborn just in proportion as they are ignorant and wrong.

Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

Politeness is better than logic. You can often persuade when you cannot convince.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.