The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it.

I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me to say because for many, many years I was the guy whose only contribution to any conversation was, 'There was a funny 'Simpson's' joke about that.'

I keep thinking they’re gonna call me. I keep thinking they’re gonna crunch the numbers and think, oh, we can make money with this! And they don’t.

'You think we're dancing?' 'That's all we've ever done.'

I don't think I'm a celebrity. Maybe I'm a cult figure?

I write to give myself strength.

Everybody who made it through adolescence is a hero.