I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos.

I don't know what it's going to take for people to really wake up and understand that they [the Bush administration] are liars and they are murderers.

I’m interested in so many different things and I’d like to cover a lot of territory. I’m trying to see my show as the Sunday Times. You have the Arts & Leisure section, you have the Op-Ed page, you have the Book Review...even the Style section has those wonderful essays about relationships.

When people heckle me, I have the microphone. And the press has the microphone.

I don't want to do just a liberal show.

I interviewed Ann Coulter when I was sitting in for Larry King a couple of times, and we have a rapport. I like to talk to her.

I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an electric shock when you reach for food.