I think looks do matter on television.

A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think, and if I had, if I had my choice I would still pick that.

It's not interesting enough if you don't know who you are, what you want. You need to make educated decisions about your moves and talk to people who care about you. And you need to have people who will have your back.

Comedians usually are rooting for the underdog. I mean to take a shot at an underdog I think is really stupid and low and not funny.

Statistically, skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Because fat women are killing them.

Never eat at a Chinese restaurant named Mama Teresa's Trattoria.

What daughter thinks of her parents in flagrante delicto? Yet, my mother, even after years with him, dropped hints such as, 'You know, your father enjoys his matinees.' I never even saw them go to the movies together. What could she mean? All those afternoons, I thought she was upstairs listening to La Traviata, and those high notes apparently were not coming from the radio.