It's not interesting enough if you don't know who you are, what you want. You need to make educated decisions about your moves and talk to people who care about you. And you need to have people who will have your back.

Those flowers were picked by illegal immigrants. And they're not voting for you, b*tch.

I do like talk shows. I'm interested in talking to people.

I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an electric shock when you reach for food.

Is there such a thing as a man-made stroke? In other words, did someone do this to (Democratic Senator Tim Johnson)? ...I know what this [Republican] party is capable of.

I don't want to do just a liberal show.

It seemed like the right time. You reach a point when you say to yourself, ‘Do I want to keep doing this?’ There are other things on my plate I want to do — I’ve been writing a play, I’ve been neglecting my standup.