If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.

People who put slipcovers, doilies, plastic protectors, and cellophane on everything good that they own rarely live to see an occasion so good that all these covers are removed.

Nobody believes that the man who says, 'Look, lady, you wanted equality,' to explain why he won't give up his seat to a pregnant woman carrying three grocery bags, a briefcase, and a toddler is seized with the symbolism of idealism.

When politeness is used to show up other people, it is reclassified as rudeness. Thus it is technically impossible to be too polite.

Smart people duck when they hear the dread announcement 'I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.

When you consider how epidemic boredom is in our time, you have to concede that entertaining is a healing art.

People will say, 'Seventy isn't old, it's middle-aged,' and I think, middle of what - 140?