Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh.

What if obese people couldn't get married?

Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was.

I have a nice little house in LA. Well, the bedroom is nice. I have French doors in the bedroom. They don't open unless I lick them.

The first time I did stand-up was on a dare.

If you're going to hit a car, try to be sure that it's not a cop car

My doctor said I had OCD. I couldn't believe it. I had to call him nine times to make sure.