I'm built like a 14-year-old boy. I have no waist, so anything I wear has to have a lot of trickeration going on. I don't fit into girl dresses. I can't just slip it on.

It's a war of attrition. If you have patience and a modicum of faith in yourself your chances are not too bad.

Kids think the world is about them, so if you forgot to put the right flavor yogurt in their lunch, and they have too much homework when they come home, they're like, "You know I hate peach!" There's a part of me that's like, "I'm so sorry. I could have shown my love more."

I tell my kids, "Look, your life is a video game, and I have to get you from level zero to 18 as an independent person with all your skills and limbs intact. Every time you hit your brother or throw food, you're taking us all back."

I have this fancy Givenchy bag. I don't know what the Kardashians have in their bags - I bet they have really expensive products or six cellphones or something. I have a cellphone and some lipstick for me, and the rest is just filled with stuff for the kids - sunscreen and lip balm and little Ziploc bags of pretzels and cheese sticks.

At restaurants, I carry paper and markers and tell everyone to draw a picture with a unicorn, an octopus and an explosion. That keeps kids still for a minute.

As I have gotten older, I've discovered the joys of being lazy.