At restaurants, I carry paper and markers and tell everyone to draw a picture with a unicorn, an octopus and an explosion. That keeps kids still for a minute.

I read some article where Reese Witherspoon said, "If you're not yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them." It made me feel so much better.

I do find it odd people choose to do stuff that makes them look like crazy Hollywood faces, but I've got zero judgment.

I just can't seem to make myself care about what I look like when I am working out.

I use an app called ChoreMonster. The kids earn points for brushing teeth or picking up the dog poop. It's genius.

I always come across sounding like I hate my children. I actually love them very much.

Children are like crazy, drunken small people in your house.