Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable.

If you want sex, have an affair. If you want a relationship, buy a dog.

When did women whose looks are not their living start conducting themselves like the simpering inmates of an Ottoman empire seraglio?

Covering up, so far as I can see, is often the accompaniment to far more truly shameful behaviour than stripping off.

As I get older I think, contrary to modern assumption but in line with the old Lerner and Lowe song, that it would actually benefit both them and society if - to quote Professor Higgins - a woman could be more like a man.

When a man wants to relax, he will slob out and really relax. Or he will pursue a hobby - anything from building models to watching sport.

Gluttony and idleness are two of life's great joys, but they are not honourable.