It seems that one moment I was this little kid only caring about animals and flowers and stuff, and then the next minute I was this raging stew of hormones. I don't know if you've ever been a raging stew of anything, but I wouldn't particularly recommend it.

Blakes Hotel in South Kensington was a particular favourite of mine during what I affectionately think of as my Restless Years.

When did women whose looks are not their living start conducting themselves like the simpering inmates of an Ottoman empire seraglio?

Make no mistake, most women are well aware that they've never had it so good; when they enter a spa or salon, it is purely a hair/nails thing, a prelude to an evening of guilt-free fun.

It has been said that a pretty face is a passport. But it's not, it's a visa, and it runs out fast.

Covering up, so far as I can see, is often the accompaniment to far more truly shameful behaviour than stripping off.

When actresses jump on the anti-Iraq bandwagon, they often combine down-home momism with an ignorance of Islamist intent which is truly awesome.