In Berlin, things are serious but not hopeless. In Vienna, they are hopeless but not serious.

Satire chooses and knows no objects. It arises by fleeing from them and their forcing themselves upon it.

Morality is a burglar's tool whose merit lies in never being left behind at the scene of the crime.

How do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists, then believe what they read.

Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust.

It is either a half-truth or a truth and a half.

Curses on the law! Most of my fellow citizens are the sorry consequences of uncommitted abortions.