I have often been asked to be fair and view a matter from all sides. I did so, hoping that something might improve if I viewed allsides of it. But the result was the same. So I went back to viewing things only from one side, which saves me a lot of work and disappointment. For it is comforting to regard something as bad and to be able to use one's prejudice as an excuse.

You'd be surprised how hard it can often be to translate an action into an idea.

Solitude would be ideal if you could pick the people to avoid.

Morality is a venereal disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis.

I like to hold a monologue with women. But a dialogue with myself is more stimulating.

If someone calls me vain and mean, I know that he trusts me and has something to confess to me.

One can translate an editorial but not a poem. For one can go across the border naked but not without one's skin; for, unlike clothes, one cannot get a new skin.