When my brother-in-law, BIll Clinton, was elected, he had gay friends. That was a coming out.

I'm really happy that I was raised Catholic because it's given me years of material.

I want to host a religious show. I'm sure nobody will be wanting the 11 o'clock spot on Sunday morning. I think we should really get some of our own preachers and preach that gay is good. And we'd have a great choir.

When my brother-in-law, BIll Clinton, was elected, he had gay friends. That was a coming out.

Gays have always been in the military. Alexander the Great was originally Alexander the Fabulous. A gay man invented C-rations. He claims he could never talk anyone into the cilantro garnish. Obviously, gays were not allowed to design the outfits, because we never would have stayed with the earth tones for so long.

Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'

Lesbian humor isn't trying to sell anything, it doesn't have to sell out. Coming out as a lesbian onstage is still a very political act; if it weren't, more women would do it.