Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally.

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed, the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director face on).

Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they'll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.

One reason you are stricken when your parents die is that the audience you've been aiming at all your life - shocking it, pleasing it - has suddenly left the theater.

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.