An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed, the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director face on).

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

Does anybody who gave up smoking to save a pound a week have a pound at the end of the week? Not on your life.

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they'll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.

The rule is not to talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you.

Perennials are the ones that grow like weeds, biennials are the ones that die this year instead of next and hardy annuals are the ones that never come up at all.