If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car.

Hello?... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.

The past is something for you to learn from and the future is something that you hope is going to happen, but I'm always speaking to my actual fans in present tense.

I think pimp, therefore i am.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

All comedy comes from a dark place.

I apologize for the fact that the word ‘anti-Mexican’ is being said to a black guy in America.